I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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