you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
