Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
