Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
