Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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