i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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