Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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