I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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