Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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