trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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