Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
