Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
