Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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