your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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