Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
