Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
