plz talk dirty to me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
