ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize