doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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