Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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