Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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