do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
