she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
BRING THE BAGELS
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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