lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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