Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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