I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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