I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
