i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
