I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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