Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
