3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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