Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
