nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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