So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
