In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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