Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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