don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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