I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
