remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize