You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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