I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
