At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
