At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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