If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
