can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
