The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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