Where is the hickey?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
