i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
