So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I believe in your delicious
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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