Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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