the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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