Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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