i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it penis luge time yet?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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