The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
