big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
