It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
In the future we'll all be gay
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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