What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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