I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
