She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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