I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize