Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
