we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
